death by bluebonnets

Clement's still working on his English.  I think he confused bluebonnet with bubonic and thought we were trying to kill him.  So this is basically what happened:

Me:  Josephine, try sitting over there.  Smile for me!  Awesome.  This will work fine.

  

Me:  Clement, Dad's going to put you next to Josephine-- okay?  See the pretty bluebonnets?  We're taking pictures with bluebonnets!!

Clement: ...uuuuhhhhhhhhh... really not okay with this, guys.  pretty sure this stuff killed about 25 million people in the mid-1300s.

Clement:  This is definitely the stuff that did those people in.  See this leaf?  I'm sure of it.  

Me:  Clement, SMIIIIIILE.  We love bluebonnets!

Clement:  I'm dyyyying.  You can't DO this to me!  I'm too YOUNG to die!  WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???????

Josephine's expression:  [Why won't he SHUT UP??]

Me:  Josephine, you just try to smile anyway.  You're doing great.  

Clement:  How can you smile at a time like this??  We must escape NOW!

Clement:  Fine!  Suit yourself!  Sit there -- smirk all you want -- but I'm out of here!

Clement:  Mother, you BETRAYED ME.  But I need you.  Please hold me now.

Me:  Clement, grrrr.  Go to Dad.  Josephine, how old are you?

Josephine:  I'm FIVE!!

Me:  Josephine, say "Dad is a silly goose."

Josephine:  DAD IS A SILLY GOOSE!

Me:  Say "I love ice cream!"

Josephine:  I LOVE ICE CREAM!!

Disclaimer:  All torment was short-lived.  No redheads were [permanently] damaged in the taking of these photos.  

Parent-child trust has been re-established (ice cream and strawberries helped).  

Most importantly, Texan tradition has been instilled on an abiding and profound level.  Priorities, People.  Priorities.