clement is one month!

It seems impossible to believe, but a month has already flown by!

A large chunk of my heart is still stuck back in the hospital, snuggling his soft pink self and -- with tunnel vision -- reveling in all the newness and excitement.  With the chaos of the last couple weeks, packing and road tripping up here, and now the adjustment phase as we try to get settled in, I find myself torn.  I'm usually either pining for those initial, focused moments of his life, or else feeling anxious to get to a phase where things feel routine and calm and I'm sleeping more than 2 or 3 hours at a time each night.  It is especially challenging to be present right now.  And yet I must seek that mentality and contentedness, lest I miss out on the charms of Clement's one month old self.

After all, he reminds me daily of how much he's changing and how quickly!  Already he is getting SO strong, his skinny thigh wrinkles are morphing into pudges, and he had already grown half an inch at his 2 week check up.  (I feel like he's sprouted two more since, but I haven't made an appointment for his one month check-up here in Astoria.  Need to do that.)  His head still flops some, but he can hold it in place about 75% of the time now.  He moves it around to track us (when he deems us more interesting than the window), and it sure seems to me like he uses his arms to bat at things he's really focused on, but that must be a coincidence because he hasn't discovered his hands yet (other than when they magically and delightfully appear near his mouth in prime sucking territory).  While he has started smiling socially, he isn't bestowing them nearly as generously as Josephine was by one month.  His first came the day before he turned 3 weeks; it was probably no coincidence that he was being fawned over by three gorgeous 20-somethings who were in town for my sister's bachelorette party.  The little flirt.

He did it enough that I was able to take a picture (see below)... I love his dimples!  Josephine didn't have those... but she did have the same squirrelly grin... see here.

Not long thereafter he started sharing them with dull, old Mom, and now he gives them out a few times per day (at least one of which is saved for his beloved crib slats.  The white blanket hung behind them really makes them "pop."  He seems quite fond.)

In other social interactions: here's a photo of Clement at two weeks old, lying next to best buddy Wyatt (Zanna's little brother, who is 2 months older than Clement).  We need to have a face-time session with the two boys so Wyatt can talk to Clement about how delightful it is to sleep through the night!!  I'm all about working some peer pressure here...

Clement still has all the reddish hair he was born with, and while I adore red hair, it does seem to color his personality as well-- true to all the stereotypes.  He's a very DETERMINED little fellow with serious horsepower: goes from 0 to 90 in about 5 seconds flat.  If you're not quick enough on the draw, he can show you angry like you've never before seen.  His powerful lungs skipped the newborn cry stage altogether, and his fair skin turns purplish red in a heartbeat once he starts screaming.  These are favors he extended to everyone in the hospital, his pediatrician twice now, and countless assistants.  Unlike Josephine's charms and social butterfly behavior with nurses (and everyone), Clement sees no innate reason to please those folks (or anyone).

He doesn't reject a pacifier as vehemently as Josephine did, but he doesn't like them, either.  Every now and then you can convince him to take one.  Due to his short fuse and strong lungs, I've even invested in trying to find a different kind, thinking he might prefer another size/shape (color, maybe?  one that "pops" perhaps?)--  hoping to find a reliable plug for the kid... but to no avail.  Don't get me wrong-- he's really a tremendously sweet boy, and he doesn't cry unless he has a reason-- but it's just that if he does have a reason, he let's you KNOW about it, and is quite LOUD about it until you have it remedied.  And sometimes you just need to hold off the hunger pangs for 5 more minutes, or finish changing the diaper, or can't get the bubble out of either end... and in those cases, it'd be nice to have something to soothe the furious little guy!

That said, he spends most of his time hanging out at the other end of the spectrum: he's been a total snuggle bug from the get go.  Nothing makes him happier than having his face nestled up in someone's neck, which melts my heart to the extreme.  All the typical "happiest baby on the block" tricks that Sean worked so well with Josephine are pretty much a wash with Clement.  I remember a night early on when Sean was trying to comfort him with the "happiest baby" techniques, and it simply wasn't working.  The second he pulled him up to snuggle him against his neck, however, Clement was perfectly pleased.  Those patterns have held true; that's just the way this little guy works.  He really loves some face-in-neck time.  (Since it calms him so much, this is also his favorite position in which to burp and spit up all down my shirt.  So sometimes Mommy gets a liiiittle gun shy with the snuggling.)  I use this same method to help him nap; if he's fussy going down, it usually just takes a few times of checking on him and pulling him up to snuggle for a second and coo at him about napping, then laying him back down.  After about 2 or 3 of these visits from me, he typically just yawns and goes to sleep the next time I lay him down.  The boy just wants a little face-in-neck time to know he's loved.  In this way, he's actually more social than Josephine was; I love having a snuggle bug!

So, not to overly generalize, but it seems Clement's either THE sweetest little baby-- or, at times, the angriest.  Thank the Lord that the vast majority of the time he's content or has an issue that is relatively simple to fix!

As for the big sister:  Josephine has handled Clement like a champ.  Even being stuck next to him for about 1,800 miles, many of which he was discontented, didn't seem to faze her.  Sometimes she puts her hands over her ears when he cries, sometimes she tries singing to him (bless her heart), sometimes she soothes herself by sucking on her fingers, but on whole she copes supremely well.  She mostly responds with oodles of baby talk either to him, or on his behalf to me, letting me know what she imagines he is wanting.  She also manages to just sleep right through the screaming, which I find downright impressive.

Our pediatrician has warned us that this is the sibling "honeymoon phase."  We expect things to change once he manages to get into her stuff.  But for now, it's delightful.  She LOVES checking on him, rushes to his aid if she hears so much as a grunt, and delights in bringing him toys.  I watch her like a hawk when she's around him, naturally, but am glad that she is so good at distracting him when he's bored, as it usually buys me enough time to finish whatever I'm doing before attending to whatever's grumping up the baby.

That about sums things up!  I am in the process of learning how to meld Josephine's daily schedule with Clement's emerging routine (basically feeding every 3 hours, followed by wake time, then nap time, with the occasional [and hopefully continued] extension of night time cycles to more like 5 or 6 hours [sans wake time]).  It requires a lot of discipline (which I don't naturally come by) to stay on track so that I feel in control of the schedule-- as opposed to feeling like my kids are in control and just pulling me a thousand different directions all at once.  But with a little time to get settled in, and some more deciphering of what Clement needs, I know we'll adjust.  And then maybe you'll start seeing more regular blog posts from me!

But for now, in exchange for your patience, here's one final picture of our little one month old.  He does a number on my heart (and eardrums) daily.  We love him to pieces, and if you had that soft little head in your neck right now, you'd know exactly what I mean.  Don't worry-- I'll give him a snuggle on behalf of each of you.  :-)

here

Well, we made it back to NY!  I know I'm behind on the -- oh, let's estimate 1,000 -- photos of the last month, and I do aim to fill in the gap gradually.  But for now, here are some pictures from Sunday. 

We had an extra full day on our car rental (it was a grand total of $4 more to get it for seven days as opposed to five) so after heaping ridiculous amounts of gear from the minivan into our apartment Saturday night, we instituted full denial Sunday morning and left the madness behind.  We got up, drove ourselves to church, to the grocery store to stock up, to City Island for a meal, and to Orchard Beach.

We only had 20 minutes or so for Josephine to swim, as it turned out the lifeguards quit at 6 pm and the waters have to be vacated then.  That's okay, though, as Sean was already maxing out his conscience by letting her play in waters that close a major city.   I didn't go down to get a close look, but he said it wasn't the most pristine of conditions, and that's not hard to believe.

Someone wasn't bothered in the least, however.

The photo below gives a slight sense of how packed the place was.  It was equally crowded the other direction, twice as deep as you can see here, and the parking lot was only half full.  I'd hate to see the place when that parking lot is at maximum capacity!  But I hear that's standard for beaches up here; I've seen photos of Coney Island in the summertime that are downright frightening.

At least this had an interesting cultural twist.  As we were walking towards the beach we passed a guy wearing a shirt that read, "Orchard Beach.  Little Puerto Rico.  Exit 8B."  Turns out that's totally accurate.  I've never been to the island, but now I feel no need.

(If you're a fan of Where's Waldo, you can play Where's Josephine in the above photo. You're welcome.)  

This next photo is after closing time, and with a little cropping help, makes the place look deceptively peaceful...

Didn't get any great pictures of Clement; he was tucked away in the Ergo the whole time, except for when Sean was holding him while I got Josephine cleaned up.  Which, interestingly, exposed him to vast quantities of comments like "God bless!" from all demographics, including young, rough-looking macho men.  I intend to experiment with this further.  Perhaps it's similar to all the comments I got while pregnant from strangers who felt driven to pronounce my prenatal baby a boy.  I'm curious to see if a dad cradling a newborn consistently elicits attention up here, or just in Puerto Rico.

Here's a smile to tide over grandmothers until the next post:

august 21

In an effort to start filling in some missing pictures/events, I'll be posting random groups of photos-- mostly according to how much time I have to work on any given post.  I'll leave them as the top story for a little while after posting each one, but eventually will change their posting dates to match the corresponding time they were taken, so that they get "filed" away on the blog in the correct sequence.

Here are some photos from Sean's iphone that he took while I was feeding Clement.  Josephine was enjoying the unfamiliar foliage at a rest on our way up to NY; she is showing him the wee little pine needles, fistfuls of which she wanted to put in the car and take with us.  

We talked her down to five. 

Which "must have fallen out of the car somehow" at the next stop... 

 

{  Is my blatant frustration with blogger formatting obvious?  Good.  }

hi.

We are still alive-- furiously packing for our road trip-- but alive we are!  Perhaps the next week on the road will afford some time to catch up on blog posts.  There are many photos, just nooooo time.

All's well, though! (And if ever it isn't, Big Sister Josephine is quick to the rescue with Clement's stuffed zebra).

pics from second week

one week old!

Wearing some newborn clothes we borrowed from Wyatt.  

8 pounds-- going on 9-- is clearly the TOP range of NB size clothes!

Yellow outfit below was one of Sean's...

first, note the cute sleep smile.  second, note the lack of sheets. 

I washed bed sheets several times too many in those first couple weeks because SOMEONE absolutely DESPISED being expected to burp when he wanted to keep eating.  And someone's MOTHER was entirely too tired to fight him over it.  

Instead -- with all the rationale inherent in the completely irrational postpartum phase -- we'd put ALL that milk on top of one huge bubble, and then when he was finally satisfied and upright, he would explode.  Of course he did.  And I would have to wash all people and things within a 3 foot radius.  (Obviously, logic would indicate that dealing with his screaming and making him burp would have been far easier.  But instead of listening to my instincts about "um, I think he's eaten a lot and needs to burp now," I would listen to that doubtful voice, "Well, he sure seems unhappy about burping.  Maybe he doesn't really need to.  Maybe THE FOUR DAY OLD KNOWS BEST."  Why???)

Gam and Mama Jo came down for a visit during the second week!  

Clement wearing a tiny red sailor outfit from when Sean was a newborn.  (I think we got it on him twice before he was too big for it!)

Mama Jo fashioned Josephine a superb butterfly get-up!

Uncle Jason and Maggie (soon to be Aunt Maggie!!) came down to visit on the 11th.  

Sarah, Wyatt, and Zanna paid us a farewell visit the next week, shortly before we headed out.  Here's our now-traditional (yes, twice counts) baby-swapped photo.  

First one is here (as usual, dependent on Sarah's organization!  I can't find my copy anywhere, though I'm almost certain I had a picture, too.  Probably on that external hard drive I lost hopefully left in Austin when we were there for the birth...)

My kids and their mom miss her kids and their mom so much!!  Not much longer now.  

(That's going to be confusing, isn't it, when I change the posting date of this back to August.  Well, good.  I wouldn't ever want to look back at this blog and think I made sense for one minute during this phase of life.)

more of first week

july 31.  the welcoming committee.

this is my favorite... all swallowed up in his pajamas... sleeping sweetly

As with Josephine, some jaundice prevention.  

Clement's bilirubin levels were monitored a little more closely than normal by the hospital and his pediatrician because of his low oxygen levels at birth, but they always remained at a healthy level.  

A note on this:  St. David's had this cool, totally uninvasive, light contraption they pressed against his forehead to check the bilirubin count.  Our pediatrician desperately needs one of those!  I DESPISE the whole heel-milking technique.  It's horrible to hold your screaming, tortured baby while they try to get a vile of blood out of his sweet foot.  As it is, with the standard newborn screening test and other checks they had to do at the hospital, his poor feet were just mauled.  ...okay. exaggerating a LITTLE.  But he did get very touchy about his feet, and I did have to start rubbing lotion on them to get the skin to plump up enough to heal from the different pricks.  There were several times when the papery newborn skin on his feet would reopen at a prick site and he'd start bleeding again!

loving the warmth

already concerned

in case you don't appreciate how TINY he is, look at him in the same chair NOW!

VISITORS!

Mychel came to town the weekend after Clement was born!  She, Stacey, and Julien were some of our first visitors.

sleeeeep

I remember hoping it wasn't going to be too big of a deal, but suspecting it was, when Clement seemed to be NOT a natural Babywise candidate.  For Josephine, their suggested routines worked like a charm.  She adjusted quickly and naturally to an eat-wake-sleep cycle, and like clockwork, was ready to eat every 3.5-4 hours.  It was easy to plan around, she was always happy to take a full feeding, would nap well, started stretching out overnight sleep early on, and by 3 weeks she was sleeping 10-11 hours overnight.  A total Babywise textbook dream. 

Cleeeemmmmmeeeent, on the other hand.  Way before any of the eczema or teething added to sleep troubles, we had the very real challenge of getting him on any kind of cycle at all.  From the minute he was born, a full feeding was simply anathema to his dietary preferences.  

(A note on our approach:  Full feedings are the sole goal you have in the first couple weeks of their lives, as this is the building block for a predictable eat-wake-sleep cycle... otherwise, you get trapped in a cycle of snacking, which can make it hard to read their cries if you're always wondering if they're hungry, and this can lead to the baby expecting milk in response to every discomfort, including exhaustion.  Snacking is not as healthy for the baby as they don't get the nutrient-rich hindmilk, and to say the least, can be VERY draining on the mom who feels on demand every minute of the day.  Trust me-- I can now speak from forced experience.  I know I am not every mom-- but I also know I'm not alone in aiming for some predictability in my day!)  

Regardless of my goals, however, Clement's goal was to wage personal war on the very notion of full-feedings.  In the middle of nearly every feeding, he would drop into a totally unresponsive coma.  I tried wet washcloths, changing sides, putting him down, undressing, redressing, changing diapers-- every trick I heard.  

I succeeded in annoying him highly.  But annoyance simply didn't translate into hunger for him.  He wanted to keep SLEEPING.  He might latch on for 10 more seconds... juuuust long enough to soothe his frustrated nerves and resettle himself back into slumber.

HE WAS NOT DONE EATING, HOWEVER.  Oh, no no no NO.

20 minutes LATER, when he started to rouse, you had BETTER let him eat some more, but ONLY as much as he wanted before resuming his nap (at a time when he wasn't even supposed to be napping!!  The cycle goes eat-WAKE-sleep!!).  It was a constant, futile battle to keep him awake long enough to get a full feeding.

Eventually, he'd wake up enough, finish eating, and be ready to go.  But the cat naps in the middle of feeding happened day and night alike, and it always felt so difficult to know where we were in the cycle.  After all, when they're little, a cycle can be as short as 2.5 hours from start of one feeding to start of another, even if they do get a full feeding!  And if it takes an hour and fifteen minutes to get them FED, half of which they've spent sleeping-- it gets very confusing to know when you should lay them back down for a proper nap.  Ugh.  Makes me tired just thinking about it all again!

So that was our battle for the first month-- it lasted just long enough to pass the troubled sleep baton on to the eczema.  And now, sadly, at nearly 7 months, we are still fighting to get into a good sleep pattern!  Compared to a newborn, great strides have been made in the arena of consolidated sleep, but he still has not earned the label of "predictable" despite my efforts to be consistent and eradicate sources of trouble.

Good thing he's so INCREDIBLY charming and cute.  Maybe it's Stockholm syndrome, but despite the torment of the last half year, I'm still totally wrapped around Clement's little finger!

well, shucks.

Woke up this morning with the onset of mastitis.  :-(  Been battling fever, aches, chills, lots of pain... and been especially thankful for my mother-in-law's endless energy with Josephine and Clement!
Say a little prayer that these antibiotics work quickly.  We have only a short week and a half before we want to be on the road back to NY... this isn't a super way to make progress towards that goal.

(And I promise there are more pictures coming soon.  Sorry for the delay.)

headed home

I love, love, LOVE, love, LOOOVE that newborn posture-less phase.  

They're just little dumplings of babyness.

So sweet to have them curled up against you when you hold them.

Clement, your sister has a thing for baby dolls.

Don't worry.  

In just a few short months you will already be proficiently exacting revenge with a well placed eye claw and head gnaw: