I'll write about the nitty-gritty later. In the meantime, here are a few pictures and eight lessons I have learned from potty training:
1) Apparently they lace organic fruit snacks with organic cocaine. My child became addictively and ridiculously motivated to use the potty. (I only gave her ONE single fruit snack per success-- but you've never seen such a manipulative monster emerge from an otherwise lovely child.)
2) I am COMPLETELY IN LOVE with my daughter's physique. I was disappointed she caught a cold from running around half naked for two days, mainly because I felt obligated to put pants on her, which covered up all that adorableness.
3) It is possible to genetically inherit frugality, blandness, and a complete lack of style. Allow me to explain how I made this groundbreaking scientific discovery.
Based on appearances, one might readily conclude that Josephine defied nature and received 100% of her genetic make-up from her father. But I now have solid evidence that I am in there somewhere! I hear Sean spent his childhood begging for brand name clothing from Dillards. However, when you give Josephine a drawer full of choices between new, but extremely lackluster Hanes from Goodwill ($1 each) and stylish, decorated, no-exposed-elastic, ringer-style fancy pants from Dillards ($4 each --I had gift money there and nothing to do with it) the child will consistently choose the plain-jane Hanes, 9 times out of 10. I'm not exactly proud of my lack of fashion, but I AM proud to have found an area where I can clearly stake claim over my child!! She's mine! She's mine!
(Of course, the Dillards ones were undeniably the cutest, so those are the times I took pictures).
4) Crocs make for excellent potty training shoes if your floors are ice and bare feet aren't an option.
4.5) Potty training makes you appreciate the ice cold tile, as carpet would be a heck of a lot more hassle.
5) A bit of OCD can come in handy. Having a kid who is frequently dissatisfied with my "dirtydirtydirty" house* has finally worked to my advantage. She was definitely upset at puddles on the floor and has a clear aversion to anything yucky happening in her pants. So I now think her sanitation uppityness is a glorious quality of her personality.
(*Case in point: about five minutes ago she was pointing under her high chair saying "dirtydirtydirty" because of the food she'd dropped on the floor. I said I'd sweep it, but not right now. She started pointing to the closet where the broom is, insisting, and I said again, "I'll sweep later, not now." She immediately copped a pathetically sad look and started signing and saying "Please." As though enduring the sight of food on the floor was causing her emotional hardship. Good grief.)
Anyway, if it translates into stickers in her chart, I'll take it:
6) This was a stupid design for a step stool. Should have just stuck a chunk of wood there. She doesn't want to walk gracefully up three steps; she tries to throw her foot straight up to the top level. At least I didn't spend much time on it, and an old landscape timber found a new purpose (well, in theory it did-- in practice it's still pretty useless). Oh well.
7) I also learned what a multi-variate regression scatterplot graph is, and that according to my husband with a BA in sociology, this isn't one. And that I couldn't care less if it is or not-- I just like the phrase. It made me feel like a potty chart was something fitting for an adult to be spending time on.
8) Finally, while it will kill the tone here, I'm going to mention the most important thing I've learned: I am thirty and still have a complete inability to retain perspective. Went to church Wednesday morning weary from two days and nights of potty training (yes, we're perhaps stupidly doing nighttime, too), feeling pretty sorry for my tired self. Only to discover that an anciently elderly man who sits near me and has charmingly introduced himself to me 2 or 3 times now, had lost a son of his a couple days prior. Yeah. Potty training's not so bad, is it? I sat there thinking how I've had Josephine less than two years. He probably helped potty train that son, and then had him for 60 years more. That's a long life to loose; a large, painful, gaping hole for an old and physically weary person to bear. I cannot imagine losing someone I shared life with for 60 years, much less if that someone were my own child. When you pause to consider it, it is flooring, the burdens some people carry. And this potty training thing, challenging as it may be, is a downright blessing.
6) This was a stupid design for a step stool. Should have just stuck a chunk of wood there. She doesn't want to walk gracefully up three steps; she tries to throw her foot straight up to the top level. At least I didn't spend much time on it, and an old landscape timber found a new purpose (well, in theory it did-- in practice it's still pretty useless). Oh well.
7) I also learned what a multi-variate regression scatterplot graph is, and that according to my husband with a BA in sociology, this isn't one. And that I couldn't care less if it is or not-- I just like the phrase. It made me feel like a potty chart was something fitting for an adult to be spending time on.
8) Finally, while it will kill the tone here, I'm going to mention the most important thing I've learned: I am thirty and still have a complete inability to retain perspective. Went to church Wednesday morning weary from two days and nights of potty training (yes, we're perhaps stupidly doing nighttime, too), feeling pretty sorry for my tired self. Only to discover that an anciently elderly man who sits near me and has charmingly introduced himself to me 2 or 3 times now, had lost a son of his a couple days prior. Yeah. Potty training's not so bad, is it? I sat there thinking how I've had Josephine less than two years. He probably helped potty train that son, and then had him for 60 years more. That's a long life to loose; a large, painful, gaping hole for an old and physically weary person to bear. I cannot imagine losing someone I shared life with for 60 years, much less if that someone were my own child. When you pause to consider it, it is flooring, the burdens some people carry. And this potty training thing, challenging as it may be, is a downright blessing.
