Dear Mosquito,

I know you are attracted to shallow pools of water for your prolific breeding purposes... but really, what were you thinking?
The fluid deep in my ear canal does NOT count.
And as I listened to your vibrant whirring slow to an occasional earwax-hindered thump, I am afraid all the head-banging, rain-dancing, ear-clawing efforts I could muster failed to save your life and my sanity. Now, with only half of your bloody body successfully extracted, and the other half no doubt shoved even further into my ear, I feel quite helpless-- in a paralyzingly disgusted kind of way.
You have ruined every last ounce of productive focus and stamina to which I had been clinging this evening. Are you satisfied, you wretched insect?
May you rest in the most unpeaceful state possible.
Quite sincerely,
Jenny

(More on Seattle coming later-- sometime after regaining my composure...)