potty progress update

Well, I'm happily comfortable with saying that the 3-day intense training was a success! Today was another accident-free day, including a day trip down to San Antonio. (Sean took Josephine by himself-- I was too tired to face the idea of putting her potty training to a road trip test). She's stayed dry during naps the last couple of days. She still consistently informs me when she needs to go, and she's getting bladder and bowel functions in the potty only. I still think it is wise to remind her when she's wrapped up in an activity like playing outside, and I'm still intimidated by the thought of taking her out for errands, since I'm not sure she'll sit on an adult toilet... so that's an unknown. I will embark on that when I feel like it won't be overwhelming to introduce ANOTHER new variable.

She stayed dry overnight last night, still facilitated by my taking her potty every 3-4 hours or so. The main bits of encouragement were that last night she didn't cry at all during the potty trips (whereas previously, there was always one trip that must have fallen at a bad time during her sleep cycles and upset her). PLUS, once in the middle of the night, she stood up in bed and cried out desperately, wanting to go potty. I took her, she went, and then contentedly went back to sleep. I really want to interpret this as progress towards nighttime training, but obviously the jury's still way out on that one as to whether it will happen and to what extent I can continue to facilitate it. I think so long as there seems to be progress, I'll keep trying.

In short, I'm enormously relieved at how well she adapted to this; I know I'm really fortunate to have had her cooperate so well. And of course, I'm super duper proud of my big girl!

Snow Date

Austin got a little snow about a week ago. Sean and Josephine went exploring together.
I tagged along for photo ops.




Wish I could say it ended on a happier note, but a face full of snow soured her on the whole thing...


I think she'd have been happier settling for the chunk of snow I let her play with at the breakfast table, but parents are required to do this sort of outing with their little ones. Some day she'll understand and forgive us.

Watch that piano!!!

You really question the wisdom in letting a one year old motorcycle aficionado push the toy you're riding...

A bit of cooking is much safer.



We love us some play time with Miss Zanna!!! She is so darling, polite, and engaging! These pics were from the week before we started potty training (will I start measuring all time by this event?) and the last photo came from Zanna's blog.

The older they get, the more they interact, the more precious it is to watch!

the nitty gritty (read: boring)

From what I gather, our approach to toilet training is a commonly known concept.
But, to be clear, the basic idea behind the 3-day intense potty training --according to the "Queen" who wrote the book we read-- is that you let them run around in a shirt and normal, thin underwear. Diapers, pull-ups, training pants, and waterproof pants are considered crutches. And you devote 100% of your attention to catching all their accidents and getting them to the potty to finish, which requires a lot of advance preparation in terms of groceries, errands, cooking, chores, and activities that you can do side-by-side because you don't know if this is going to be majorly intense for one day, three, or five (though she swears three, max)-- but regardless, you're expected to be homebound and consistently diligent for as long as necessary.
The whole process requires a lot of positive energy, as showing frustration could turn them off to the whole thing. You reward any time they manage to pee (even partially) in the potty. The author goes into a lot of detail about exactly how to handle the run up, the morning you start, how to word reminders, nighttime, any regressions that might come later-- and more. It was the sort of step-by-step guide that I appreciate. And I mostly liked being convinced that this could happen in such a short window. So while the level of commitment terrified me (I'm not exaggerating), I really wanted to believe it would work-- enough to overcome the terror and try.

The first day was exhausting. I drank a lot of coffee. (I do that every day, so that's kind of a dumb way of making my point, but you get my drift). It was an aerobic feat intervening, getting her to the bathroom, rushing the wet stuff to the laundry, cleaning the floor, then getting back to her before she was ready to hit the ground running again. She loved it though. She loved the autonomy of deciding when she needed to leave the living room (normally she has to play in the same room I'm in, as our house isn't child proofed well enough for her to have the run of it). She loved how excited Sean and I were and all the attention she got. She will do anything for tasty food, so the fruit snacks were super effective. And the minute she caught onto the routine, she happily bossed me through it time and time again. It helped that she was disturbed when she left a puddle on the floor, and she seemed to take it very seriously when I described wet underwear as yucky and reminded her to "keep your underwear dry, okay? Tell me when you have to go potty."

As much as she enjoyed it though, it wasn't exactly instant success, so of course I spent the whole first day second-guessing the idea, convinced the 22 mos, 3 day thing was a total sales gimmick and I was a tool, wasting my precious time, energy, and mental health.

Thankfully, there were times when she would catch it and finish in the potty, so that was encouraging, and by the second day, catching it was the norm-- there were only a couple accidents in the morning, and many trips to the potty were made with dry underwear! On the third day, she miraculously didn't have a single accident-- she kept her underwear bone dry all day! TRIUMPH!!! She also didn't need to be reminded; she would spontaneously pop up out of an activity and go, much to my surprise. I put it to the test the next day (fourth day), stopping reminders altogether, and she ended up having two accidents (one at the beginning, one at the end of the day), but otherwise did perfectly. So I figured I ought to still be reminding her every now and then, especially when she's engrossed in an activity.
Today, Friday, I went for a jog while Sean gave her dinner; I was feeling quite energetic and giddy because she hadn't had an accident all day! I came home to find she'd had one during dinner-- though she was great again all evening. So in short, I'd say this was a total success! She totally gets it and knows what to do-- it seems it's just a matter of staying aware of whether she's overly engrossed in something or it's been exceptionally long since she's gone.

We've also been ENORMOUSLY lucky with the pooping issue-- she's done it in the potty every time and seems totally fine about it. Huge WHEW. (Edit: I typed that line on Thursday when I started writing this, and seriously right after-- like 15 ironic minutes after-- she didn't make it in time for all of the poop to be in the potty. I think that traumatized both of us, and thankfully, today-- the fifth day-- that wasn't an issue. Here's hoping she can truly stay as clean as we both hope she will from here on out!)

Now... nap time/nighttime aren't the same song and dance. Supposedly you can train them on all of this at once, but she's still wetting the bed. She was a serious overnight wetter going into this, but according to the Queen, even 22 mos olds that wet overnight are supposed to be able to learn this. I'm dubious about this part, but will keep trying. Mainly because I can see how it'd be confusing at this point to put a diaper on her at all. Plus I'd just really like to stick with our momentum and get it over with, if it's possible. So we'll see. My main hope lies in her getting more practice with bladder control over the next few days. I figure the more subconscious that becomes, the more it will be in effect while she's sleeping as well.

Today, Friday, she actually stayed dry through her nap, though it was a little bit shorter than normal. This is egging on my hopefulness...

As for overnight, we are using the "crutches" of cotton training pants inside cotton and waterproof training pants, until I can get a sense of how long she can hold it. It takes a lot of energy to change the sheet on her crib mattress, so I'm trying to keep the floods contained. It seems the following is currently necessary for her to stay dry: taking her twice during her bedtime routine, an hour after she falls asleep, again right before we go to bed, again around 1:45 AM, and then again around 5:30, before she wakes up dry at 8:00-8:30, and you take her promptly again then. This is akin to nursing a newborn overnight, and generally is exhausting, so I'm not quite sure where to draw the line in terms of how long to tolerate this before deciding if it's helping or not. My hope is that if she gets used to being dry overnight for a several nights because of my facilitation, maybe being wet will bother her, and she'll eventually have more personal incentive for waking up to go potty??? But I also think there are just basic bladder limitations at this age and some facilitation might be required for a while. But if we could get it to where we only have to take her before we go to bed-- that's totally feasible. Anyway. I'll keep you updated. And it's likely to sound like: "We just went back to a diaper overnight" because I'm not very compromising when it comes to my sleep.)

The other hurdle we haven't jumped is leaving the house. I would really like to do that again, you know, some day...

toilet training notes

I'll write about the nitty-gritty later. In the meantime, here are a few pictures and eight lessons I have learned from potty training:

1) Apparently they lace organic fruit snacks with organic cocaine. My child became addictively and ridiculously motivated to use the potty. (I only gave her ONE single fruit snack per success-- but you've never seen such a manipulative monster emerge from an otherwise lovely child.)

2) I am COMPLETELY IN LOVE with my daughter's physique. I was disappointed she caught a cold from running around half naked for two days, mainly because I felt obligated to put pants on her, which covered up all that adorableness.


3) It is possible to genetically inherit frugality, blandness, and a complete lack of style. Allow me to explain how I made this groundbreaking scientific discovery.
Based on appearances, one might readily conclude that Josephine defied nature and received 100% of her genetic make-up from her father. But I now have solid evidence that I am in there somewhere! I hear Sean spent his childhood begging for brand name clothing from Dillards. However, when you give Josephine a drawer full of choices between new, but extremely lackluster Hanes from Goodwill ($1 each) and stylish, decorated, no-exposed-elastic, ringer-style fancy pants from Dillards ($4 each --I had gift money there and nothing to do with it) the child will consistently choose the plain-jane Hanes, 9 times out of 10. I'm not exactly proud of my lack of fashion, but I AM proud to have found an area where I can clearly stake claim over my child!! She's mine! She's mine!
(Of course, the Dillards ones were undeniably the cutest, so those are the times I took pictures).


4) Crocs make for excellent potty training shoes if your floors are ice and bare feet aren't an option.

4.5) Potty training makes you appreciate the ice cold tile, as carpet would be a heck of a lot more hassle.

5) A bit of OCD can come in handy. Having a kid who is frequently dissatisfied with my "dirtydirtydirty" house* has finally worked to my advantage. She was definitely upset at puddles on the floor and has a clear aversion to anything yucky happening in her pants. So I now think her sanitation uppityness is a glorious quality of her personality.

(*Case in point: about five minutes ago she was pointing under her high chair saying "dirtydirtydirty" because of the food she'd dropped on the floor. I said I'd sweep it, but not right now. She started pointing to the closet where the broom is, insisting, and I said again, "I'll sweep later, not now." She immediately copped a pathetically sad look and started signing and saying "Please." As though enduring the sight of food on the floor was causing her emotional hardship. Good grief.)

Anyway, if it translates into stickers in her chart, I'll take it:


6) This was a stupid design for a step stool. Should have just stuck a chunk of wood there. She doesn't want to walk gracefully up three steps; she tries to throw her foot straight up to the top level. At least I didn't spend much time on it, and an old landscape timber found a new purpose (well, in theory it did-- in practice it's still pretty useless). Oh well.


7) I also learned what a multi-variate regression scatterplot graph is, and that according to my husband with a BA in sociology, this isn't one. And that I couldn't care less if it is or not-- I just like the phrase. It made me feel like a potty chart was something fitting for an adult to be spending time on.


8) Finally, while it will kill the tone here, I'm going to mention the most important thing I've learned: I am thirty and still have a complete inability to retain perspective. Went to church Wednesday morning weary from two days and nights of potty training (yes, we're perhaps stupidly doing nighttime, too), feeling pretty sorry for my tired self. Only to discover that an anciently elderly man who sits near me and has charmingly introduced himself to me 2 or 3 times now, had lost a son of his a couple days prior. Yeah. Potty training's not so bad, is it? I sat there thinking how I've had Josephine less than two years. He probably helped potty train that son, and then had him for 60 years more. That's a long life to loose; a large, painful, gaping hole for an old and physically weary person to bear. I cannot imagine losing someone I shared life with for 60 years, much less if that someone were my own child. When you pause to consider it, it is flooring, the burdens some people carry. And this potty training thing, challenging as it may be, is a downright blessing.