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Jason's Ruination of his Sister via his Niece Tactic #4: Redefining Reality

This one's less original, Jason. No less effective when employed on a persistent basis... but really, you're stooping to the level of plain old psychological abuse. If I were to grade your efforts at ruining me, you'd be docked several points for lack of creativity.

The conversations go like this...

Me: Josephine, our floor is cold, you need to wear slippers or socks and shoes. Which one do you want?

J: No, the floor isn't cold.

Me: Yes, it IS cold.

J: But the carpet isn't cold.

Me: You will eventually walk off the carpet though, and the tile is freezing. You cannot have bare feet.

J: My feet aren't cold.

Me: But they will be; the floor is very cold.

J: No, it's not cold. My feet are okay.

Me: Josephine, I have my feet on the floor and I can tell it's cold. I KNOW it's cold. You need slippers or socks and shoes.

J: No, it isn't cold. I don't need them. (she walks over to the tile) See? My feet are fine. It's not cold.

.... similarly...

Me: Josephine, it's cold outside-- you need to wear a coat. Or a hat.

J: No, it's not cold outside. It's a little bit cold, a little bit warm.

Me: I just checked the weather, it's 46 degrees. It's too cold for just a shirt.

J: But see? My shirt has sleeves. I'm all warm.

Me: Let me feel your hands. Your hands are freezing. You need a coat or sweater or hat. Which one do you want?

J: I'm NOT cold; it's not cold outside.

... or....

Me: Eat the sausage, too.

J: This sausage is spicy.

Me: It's not spicy sausage, it's plain. (By the way, I'm extremely sensitive to spice-- even more so than she is.)

J: Yes it's spicy. It's too spicy. It's very, very spicy.

These conversations have a theme: it's something sensory and yet not subjective. I am in possession of the objective facts and-- I like to believe-- good judgment regarding those facts.

If there is room for doubting my experience of something, I will hear out her disagreement-- but that's not what is happening here. She is disagreeing with me on things that I shouldn't have to defend, and she is doing it with an innocent expression and whole-hearted belief in her own view on the matter. She's persistent enough that if I haven't fully donned my hardened parental exterior for the day, I actually start to believe her.

Case in point, two days ago (when I wrote this) she had just come in from playing outside, in 46 degree temps, no sunshine, and her choice activity was splashing around in frigid water pooled in her wagon. She had on pants and a sweatshirt and boots, but that's all, and her face was pinched and cold and hands bright red and nearly frostbitten, I'm sure. They felt like ice.

This looks like bad parenting. Sure. But it's not, I tell you-- it's CONFUSED parenting. It's what happens when your child has successfully victimized you by endlessly undermining your convictions! I held to my judgment about the cold weather and her needing additional layers for the first few minutes of the debate, but her version of reality was SO persistent that I slowly became convinced that maybe she was somehow right. In the end, she went out with nothing extra on, and I stood in the doorway numbly mulling over the possibility that maybe I was just being overly sensitive to the chilly weather.

Yes, it's pathetic that a two year old can so frequently cause me to wonder what's wrong with me and why I am experiencing things so incorrectly. But when you're challenged on EVERYTHING, and being told you're version is incorrect ALL DAY LONG, (and on the spectrum of topics, at least some of them are truly debatable)... well, eventually nothing's black and white. Your brain is no longer capable of holding fast to any truth.

At least her challenges haven't strayed into religion and politics yet... Hopefully by then I won't be so easily defeated...