the nitty gritty (read: boring)

From what I gather, our approach to toilet training is a commonly known concept.
But, to be clear, the basic idea behind the 3-day intense potty training --according to the "Queen" who wrote the book we read-- is that you let them run around in a shirt and normal, thin underwear. Diapers, pull-ups, training pants, and waterproof pants are considered crutches. And you devote 100% of your attention to catching all their accidents and getting them to the potty to finish, which requires a lot of advance preparation in terms of groceries, errands, cooking, chores, and activities that you can do side-by-side because you don't know if this is going to be majorly intense for one day, three, or five (though she swears three, max)-- but regardless, you're expected to be homebound and consistently diligent for as long as necessary.
The whole process requires a lot of positive energy, as showing frustration could turn them off to the whole thing. You reward any time they manage to pee (even partially) in the potty. The author goes into a lot of detail about exactly how to handle the run up, the morning you start, how to word reminders, nighttime, any regressions that might come later-- and more. It was the sort of step-by-step guide that I appreciate. And I mostly liked being convinced that this could happen in such a short window. So while the level of commitment terrified me (I'm not exaggerating), I really wanted to believe it would work-- enough to overcome the terror and try.

The first day was exhausting. I drank a lot of coffee. (I do that every day, so that's kind of a dumb way of making my point, but you get my drift). It was an aerobic feat intervening, getting her to the bathroom, rushing the wet stuff to the laundry, cleaning the floor, then getting back to her before she was ready to hit the ground running again. She loved it though. She loved the autonomy of deciding when she needed to leave the living room (normally she has to play in the same room I'm in, as our house isn't child proofed well enough for her to have the run of it). She loved how excited Sean and I were and all the attention she got. She will do anything for tasty food, so the fruit snacks were super effective. And the minute she caught onto the routine, she happily bossed me through it time and time again. It helped that she was disturbed when she left a puddle on the floor, and she seemed to take it very seriously when I described wet underwear as yucky and reminded her to "keep your underwear dry, okay? Tell me when you have to go potty."

As much as she enjoyed it though, it wasn't exactly instant success, so of course I spent the whole first day second-guessing the idea, convinced the 22 mos, 3 day thing was a total sales gimmick and I was a tool, wasting my precious time, energy, and mental health.

Thankfully, there were times when she would catch it and finish in the potty, so that was encouraging, and by the second day, catching it was the norm-- there were only a couple accidents in the morning, and many trips to the potty were made with dry underwear! On the third day, she miraculously didn't have a single accident-- she kept her underwear bone dry all day! TRIUMPH!!! She also didn't need to be reminded; she would spontaneously pop up out of an activity and go, much to my surprise. I put it to the test the next day (fourth day), stopping reminders altogether, and she ended up having two accidents (one at the beginning, one at the end of the day), but otherwise did perfectly. So I figured I ought to still be reminding her every now and then, especially when she's engrossed in an activity.
Today, Friday, I went for a jog while Sean gave her dinner; I was feeling quite energetic and giddy because she hadn't had an accident all day! I came home to find she'd had one during dinner-- though she was great again all evening. So in short, I'd say this was a total success! She totally gets it and knows what to do-- it seems it's just a matter of staying aware of whether she's overly engrossed in something or it's been exceptionally long since she's gone.

We've also been ENORMOUSLY lucky with the pooping issue-- she's done it in the potty every time and seems totally fine about it. Huge WHEW. (Edit: I typed that line on Thursday when I started writing this, and seriously right after-- like 15 ironic minutes after-- she didn't make it in time for all of the poop to be in the potty. I think that traumatized both of us, and thankfully, today-- the fifth day-- that wasn't an issue. Here's hoping she can truly stay as clean as we both hope she will from here on out!)

Now... nap time/nighttime aren't the same song and dance. Supposedly you can train them on all of this at once, but she's still wetting the bed. She was a serious overnight wetter going into this, but according to the Queen, even 22 mos olds that wet overnight are supposed to be able to learn this. I'm dubious about this part, but will keep trying. Mainly because I can see how it'd be confusing at this point to put a diaper on her at all. Plus I'd just really like to stick with our momentum and get it over with, if it's possible. So we'll see. My main hope lies in her getting more practice with bladder control over the next few days. I figure the more subconscious that becomes, the more it will be in effect while she's sleeping as well.

Today, Friday, she actually stayed dry through her nap, though it was a little bit shorter than normal. This is egging on my hopefulness...

As for overnight, we are using the "crutches" of cotton training pants inside cotton and waterproof training pants, until I can get a sense of how long she can hold it. It takes a lot of energy to change the sheet on her crib mattress, so I'm trying to keep the floods contained. It seems the following is currently necessary for her to stay dry: taking her twice during her bedtime routine, an hour after she falls asleep, again right before we go to bed, again around 1:45 AM, and then again around 5:30, before she wakes up dry at 8:00-8:30, and you take her promptly again then. This is akin to nursing a newborn overnight, and generally is exhausting, so I'm not quite sure where to draw the line in terms of how long to tolerate this before deciding if it's helping or not. My hope is that if she gets used to being dry overnight for a several nights because of my facilitation, maybe being wet will bother her, and she'll eventually have more personal incentive for waking up to go potty??? But I also think there are just basic bladder limitations at this age and some facilitation might be required for a while. But if we could get it to where we only have to take her before we go to bed-- that's totally feasible. Anyway. I'll keep you updated. And it's likely to sound like: "We just went back to a diaper overnight" because I'm not very compromising when it comes to my sleep.)

The other hurdle we haven't jumped is leaving the house. I would really like to do that again, you know, some day...