7:84

You may or may not recall that my brother has claimed responsibility for instructing Josephine in various methods of parental destruction.  84 methods, to be exact.
I, for one, haven't forgotten for an instant, seeing as how I am the parent they are bent on destroying.

Been a while since I updated the series, but about two seconds ago I was reminded of one of their more tried and true techniques... one which I fall for every. single. time.

It always goes something like this:

Josephine:  Mom, Mom.  Turn your face.  Look at me.  Which underwear should I wear?
Me:  Whichever, Josephine.  It doesn't matter.
J:  But which ones?
Me:  Either pair is fine.
J:  But I don't knoooow.  Do you think this one, or this one??
Me:  I really don't care.  You choose.
J:  No, YOU choose.  You HAVE to choose.  WHICH ONES?
Me:  Josephine.  Just pick one.
J:  Mom.  You tell me.  This one or this one?????
Me:  (feeling cornered)... The pink pair, Josephine.  Wear the pink ones.
J:  (immediately, without a second's hesitation) BUUUUUUUT, I think maybe these BLUE ones.

[Game over.]

In a vain effort to dispel her enjoyment of blatantly disagreeing with me, I always attempt to save face by saying something like, "The blue ones are totally fine.  I said either pair was fine.  Wear the blue ones."

But clearly she still enjoys the process, otherwise we wouldn't go through it on a daily basis.  It's not always underwear... it's a shirt choice, a toy choice, a game choice, an anything choice.  It is always something of zero consequence (otherwise I would make the decision and insist upon it), and I always attempt to avoid the whole thing by putting the choice back in her court.  Because I KNOW what she's doing.  I know PERFECTLY WELL that the child has a preference-- she has an opinion about EVERYTHING.  Every single thing IMAGINABLE.  Every action, every facet, every possibly discussed thing about everyone and all situations... Trust me, she has an opinion about it.   So there's no WAY she really wants me to decide for her, she just wants to DISAGREE with me.  She will badger ruthlessly until I name a choice, JUST so she can defy the decision.

And this is precisely why it is maddening-- I am fully aware that I am engaging in her little manipulative routine, I just don't seem capable of NOT succumbing to it.  There's no outwitting her on the issue-- even when I pick what I know is her favorite of the two items, she promptly selects the opposite.
And in gleeful triumph trots off to don the blue underwear.